Scott McIntyre

Struggle City

Monday 23rd Feb So, it's now about 4 weeks out from the Ride to Give where I have to ride about 500km from Wagga Wagga, through the hills and down to Albury, then back to Wagga over 3 days. To say I'm struggling with this is an understatement. I haven't been able to get into a routine and be on the bike regularly. When I have, I've been bored out of my head. Probably a combination of a few things: 1. I'm not a good exerciser at the best of times. Whenever I did exercise it was to do with playing sport of some sort, tennis, footy, swimming etc. I'm no good at and have never been good at exercising by myself in a solo act. 2. My head these days is full of 50-year-old thoughts and worries and priorities. I worry about my kids, I worry about money, I worry about my job and if I am doing things well, I worry about all the commitments I have in life as a 50 year old and how I ended up here, 50, divorced, re-partnered with a blended 5 kids, a new job in a new part of the country for me, am I doing enough for others, am I worth it.......it goes on. Some days are very dark. Some days are very bright. I think that is probably not unusual for a lot of people my age. 3. I have always left things until the last minute. I work well under pressure. If things are too easy, I struggle to motivate. I am telling myself this will be hard, and get on the bike and get fit, but the connection between thought and action seems to be busted. That's probably also quite normal for 50-year-old blokes. I haven't done much about raising money either, not a lot has gone into it from me so far. I need to up that now.  Share

Ride Number 1

Thursday 8th Jan

First ride on a road bike in about 20 years. Sore bum. Numb left hand, only the little and ring fingers, I don't know how that works. Perhaps something to do with turning 50. The bike I am borrowing is amazing. Somehow managed to not fall off at the traffic lights with the clip in shoes. Had to ride straight to the bike shop at the end of the ride to buy gloves. The bloke took one look at my helmet and threw it in the bin. He said something about stack hats being out of fashion or some such malarky. No Lycra yet. The only other rider I saw on the journey was a fella with his dog on the back of his bike in a milk crate. (The dog was in the milk crate). I tried to engage him (the fella) in a discussion, but he was going too quick as he passed me with no hands on the bars and talking to someone. I didn't see any headphones in his ears. (the dog wasn't talking to anyone I don't think). At one stage I started singing to myself out loud because it felt so good.

 

As a kid I'd ride everywhere. Because we had to. It was most often for fun. Doing monos up the drive way but using a dry puddle as a lift off point. I had a really good BMX type thing that went from zero to a hundred in about 5 seconds and would safely get me over the cattle grid, up passed the old dairy, or to the chook house and back, with no issues. I don't know where the money came from for those things in those years, but they materialised regularly. My siblings were a bit younger so I had a lot of time to myself, had to make my own fun. But that was great. I was free to do that in a safe place. I was never scared. Only my silly nightmares. I think I must have seen a news story about the effect on kids of horror movies. That was enough to make me have nightmares. I was very innocent and loved. I think the scariest incident in those years was being dragged by mum and dad on a progressive dinner and watching a Bond movie late at night at a neighbour's house and having bad dreams about the baddies.

 

I know I am lucky to have those memories. A lot of kids don’t. They aren't allowed to, nor are they put in circumstances where they can.

 

I hope by raising some money to support our work at Boys to the Bush and the team at Back Track, we can make a difference to some kids, help them have a better childhood, and allow them the privilege of reflecting on fun times when they get older. 

Share

First Crack

Friday 26th Dec Share

Woops

Tuesday 23rd Dec Not sure how this will go, but lets see Share